It was 1980. We were in Ms. Peech’s sophomore English class engaged in a juicy discussion. I raised my hand and added my thoughts. After I spoke my teacher looked me in the eye and sternly admonished, “Jeanine – no one will ever take you seriously with that voice!”

Smack! Ouch.

That was the last time I spoke in Ms. Peech’s English class.

In fact, I took on Ms. Peech’s assessment as an irrefutable truth and carried it with me for the next few decades. I avoided the phone, as it seemed to magnify my “no one will take me seriously” voice. As a 20 and 30 something I had more than one sales person ask me if my “mommy was home” when they called to sell some service or product no one needed. Later when I was lecturing at the University I worried that my soft-spoken style was a liability and “no one would take me seriously.” Even though I always received excellent teaching reviews from students I still carried the self-consciousness with me like a 1000-pound weight. I even hired a voice coach hoping to deepen and strengthen my voice.

Then I started teaching meditation classes. People complimented me on my “soothing and gentle voice”. Repeatedly my students thanked me for my kind and gentle style – how perfect my voice was for leading them into a place of calm and peace.

What had been defined as a liability my whole life was now an asset.

Reading about introversion I was revolutionized to learn that a number of my tendencies I had gotten negative feedback about – like my voice – were part of an introverted style and contrary to the bias of popular culture were not faults but strengths.

My desire for alone time and quiet time through meditation and long walks in nature were not attempts to run away from connecting with others but rather were ways I recharged my battery and gave myself time for reflection. For an introvert this is actually our definition of fun! Parties and large group events are not our cup of tea. We prefer small gatherings with close friends and one-on-one conversations that go deep. We tend to listen more than talk, reflect rather than speak in large group meetings, and . . . be more soft spoken.

Imagine that!

For more than 30 years I had carried with me a negative self-assessment about something so fundamental as right-handedness or my blue eyes. How liberating to discover that there is nothing inherently wrong with being soft spoken or preferring meditation over a party, or needing time to reflect on ideas before responding. These are simply classic behaviors of an introverted orientation.

I am taking off the extrovert’s costume and claiming who I am – an introvert. As one wise woman said to me years ago, “Jeanine, you are a velvet rock.”

Are you a velvet rock too? If so let’s embrace it with pride!