Recently I had a reader email me with a question about how to navigate the fact that she is expressive and enthusiastic therefore often perceived as an extrovert and assigned roles that put her in the center of social activity which stresses her out. The best way to handle this is head on!
Kindly decline or redirect the mismatched roles your boss or coworkers put you in. How to do this? Communicate that while you appreciate this opportunity you are better suited for a different role – describe what that different role would be. By doing this you are guiding others to see you more accurately. If you want to take this a step further – try what Silvia, one of my coaching clients has recently done with good results. Make this a teaching moment. Teach coworkers, your boss, others – that you are an introvert and what that means. As earlier posts outline being an introvert is far more than needing time alone to recharge. Being an introvert impacts how we: process information, interact with others, are energized (through ideas), and respond to stimulation. This step is necessary in many work environments because as an extrovert oriented culture the work place inadvertently prioritizes the needs of extroverts unless there is a conscious effort to do otherwise.
So let’s take on the resistance I am hearing in my own head as I write this. Yes these outlined actions require us to be more assertive than we may be comfortable with. Yet a reality in life is that when we want change – this change is outside of our comfort zone! So this is not about being comfortable – this is about creating the life you really want. This is about honoring who you really are and helping others do the same! This is a time for courage.
And here is the good news. We are at a tipping point! Susan Cain’s groundbreaking book “Quiet” built on the great work of previous authors and facilitated a tipping point for bringing the lives and experiences of introverts out of the closet. Here is an example from my coaching. Back to Silvia who works for a federal agency. Turns out that 80% of the clients this agency has sent me over the past five years for Executive Coaching are introverts! Indeed introverts need support for navigating the extrovert oriented environment. That was certainly true for Silvia. After working with me this past year she transformed her own experience as a leader. She implemented new approaches and strategies that honor her strengths as an introvert. The feeling that something was wrong with her was replaced with confidence and satisfaction. Part of her strategy was using teaching moments to influence the organizational culture to better understand the strengths of introverted staff. Silvia asked me if I would do a training for her agency on the differences between introverts and extroverts to support her efforts. We thought this was a long shot. Yet last week we received word that the agency approved the training! When Silvia heard this news she actually cried tears of joy.
The time is ripe for an introvert uprising! Keep rising up my friends!
