Whenever my mom hears the phone ring she emphatically yells “Get the phone.  The phone.  Get the phone!”  She could be in the basement doing laundry yet she challenges those 80-year old legs and runs up the stairs to grab the phone.  I am not sure the source of her urgency.  Perhaps it is an old fashioned response – one that became habit before answering machines.  Or it could be her German roots of timeliness and manners – “can’t keep the other person waiting!”  Or maybe she is longing for connection or worries there is urgent news on the other end.  Whatever it may be – this is an unusual moment where mother doesn’t know best.

Remember that phone calls like emails are most often about other people’s agendas; akin to someone knocking on your door uninvited.  What this means is – you get to decide if you WANT to answer the phone.  Pause while it rings and ask yourself “Am I in the mood to talk to someone right now?”  This isn’t aloof advice – it can make all the difference in the world.  Imagine you are enjoying some much needed introverted time – alone with your thoughts.  The phone rings and you think “Ugh! Now who wants something?”  How do you think you will come across to the other person?

Just last week I had a entrepreneur tell me that her one coaching session with me changed her life!  Wow!  I was curious to hear more.  Turns out the work we did in the coaching session on how she could change her approach to phone calls – revolutionized her business.  Instead of making calls at the end of a long work day when she was tired or not in the mood she checked in with her energy level and only answered or made calls if she was in the right mental and emotional place.  She now only makes calls when her energy is up and her mood is light.  She enjoys the interactions and has more positive responses from potential clients.  Good for the psyche.  Good for the pocketbook!

If you don’t already, give yourself permission to not answer the phone! : ) It really is a win/win.