So there is a theme running through my conversations with introverts these days.  Whether with my clients, staff at the doctor’s office, or speaking with friends at a coffee shop, the theme is not speaking up.  We don’t want to rock the boat, hurt other people’s feelings, or be viewed as self-centered and uncaring.  Introverts have a tendency to avoid conflict so we end up agreeing to things we don’t really want to do.  We listen to energy sucking conversations (remember our energy is limited so this is a big sacrifice).  We bite our tongue to not offend a mother-in-law.  At what cost though?

Think about a time you’ve done that recently.  How did you feel during? Afterward?  What is the long-term impact for you?  In some ways staying silent is reinforcing because we don’t have to face the underlying fears of conflict and rejection.  Yet staying silent out of fear only strengthens fear.  So this act weakens us.

We always have two choices in life – to come from love or to come from fear.

When fear is behind our actions we turn our back on ourselves and what is important to us.

When we come from love for ourselves and others we realize that a friend, colleague or family member can hear our honest truth and not be destroyed. 

We can trust that people will be their best selves and that they have the ability to handle what is true for you.  Now this isn’t easy.  But who said life was easy?  Speaking up and sharing what is true for us takes courage.  And Sara Bareilles’ lyrics from Brave come to mind.  Let this song be your inspiration to “say what you want to say and let the words fall out honestly.  I wanna see you be brave!”

Brave lyrics by Sara Bareilles

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave