Alexandra Hughes is founder of calmjoyfulmom.com and a transformational women’s coach dedicated to helping mothers find balance, joy and to become empowered leaders of their personal and professional lives.

I don’t think I need to explain to any D.C. Mom about frustrations (and other unsavory feelings) that come to life when your child’s school schedule is interrupted for yet another beautiful snow day.

When I’ve reached the end of my rope, my unsavory feelings stop being in any way related to the impact these interruptions have on the kids’ learning or health. They become all about me.

It is about my life – my work commitments and my schedule.

But what I have learned most is that it is really about my SPACE.

Yes.

While I dislike that feeling of being interrupted, at a deeper level, it is SPACE that I need.

And when I say “need”, I mean NEED.

SPACE has become like air or water to me.

SPACE.

Just say it.

Isn’t it a beautiful word?

I just feel more alive, more calm saying and relishing those beautiful five letters.

Ahhh.

On the fourth day in a row of being with the kids I decided to stop dreaming of space and to do something about it.

The yoga class plan had fallen through , thanks to the bloody time change.

I was plan-less.

My husband casually strolled out the door, saying “I’m going for a walk. Do you need anything?”

I answered: “Yes, toothpaste, face scrub…”

But that’s not what I really meant.

What I really meant was: “How dare you?! And if you’re going, don’t come back without an au pair or nanny!!!”

I did suggest he take one of our blessed children. But none of them wanted to go with “Daddy”.

So there I was.

Partially in shock that he left.

And entirely claustrophobic.

“Ok. We’re going for a walk at Rock Creek Park.” I announced.

My Mom who was visiting quietly suggested: “Are you sure you don’t want to go on your own? I can stay here with the kids. It may do you good…”

This was my opening. This was the gate, being held for me, opened for me to run into the wild and get what I needed…

And so I said…

“Mom, it’s your last day. Let’s all go for a walk together. It’ll do you good, too.”

Good one, eh. Walk your talk calmjoyfulmom? Hah!

I forced the kids out of their play (which they’d FINALLY settled down to separately (yes, after 4 days of near sibling homicide!)).

“We’re going for a walk. It’s Mom’s time to do what she wants, and you’re coming. I drive you around after school, organize playdates, blah, blah, blah “

No movement. No response.

I added: “And after, we can stop off at the toystore.”

“YAY!!!!”

And they all got into the car.

Rock Creek Park is a beautiful place. And if you are quiet you can hear the birds and the wind through the trees.

That is not what I heard, though.

2 minutes in: “Mom, when are we going to the toystore?”, Mr. 4 says.

5 minutes in: “Mom, this is boring.” This was followed by Mr. 7 throwing snow (hard and dirty) at passing cyclists (the kind that hadn’t yet entered the world of parenting).

7 minutes in: “I’m hungry.”

9 minutes in: “Are we there yet?”

In between these innocent queries and statements I would hear my own voice saying either: “Hush, listen to the birds.” Or “Don’t do that, you could hurt someone.” Or “Watch out for the cyclist.” Or “hurry up.” Or “Do you want to go to the toystore or not?” Or “This is the worst walk I’ve ever been on!”

Yet I marched on, desperately seeking that sensation of SPACE.

Open SPACE.

Natural SPACE.

*****

Sound familiar?  It is so important as busy mothers who allow life to “wind us up” in the way I had, to consciously make the time, seek out moments of wonder and to learn to allow them to breathe SPACE into our existence. It is perhaps even more important to put our needs first, not to allow ourselves to get so wound up, and to take the opportunities to self-care and self-love when lovely helpers open the gate. Remember: taking care of ourselves makes us better mothers, partners and women in the end.

If you could use support making space in your life consider joining the upcoming D.C. Calm Mom Coaching Circle: a 5-week course designed for busy moms who are ready to learn simple and practical tools that helps you manage stress and challenges from a mindful and heart-centered place.  Click here to learn more.