Let’s get the numbers right! Perhaps my all time favorite book empowering introverts to be who we are without apology is Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D. One of her biggest contributions to our understanding of introversion is to set the record straight on the numbers! Continue reading
pressure to act extroverted
Introverts in relationship: When people want more from us
On September 2nd I wrote When the Dance Steps Collide where I describe a common experience for introverts when in relationship with others where we tend to feel stretched and pulled beyond what is comfortable:
. . . With each of the three female friends – they wanted more than I was able to give. They ended up frustrated with me that I wasn’t more available, more engaged, more self-disclosing, more ____ (fill in the blank). Turns out – this is typical for introverts in relationship! People want more from us.
After talking with clients and friends it is clear that this is a dynamic many introverts are navigating daily often leaving them feeling drained, frustrated and guilty. Continue reading
You are an introvert?! No way!
How many of you get this response? I certainly do and it creates a tangle of reactions in me. On one hand I feel like an impersonator – that I’ve been misrepresenting myself to the world. As one friend recently revealed to me “I have been faking it . . . and,” she added, “it is so painful.” So that is another reaction. The raw ache of being required by an extrovert-worshiping culture to act inauthentically in order to fit in, be successful, be liked, be heard and seen. Of course many of us were faking it – that was an adaptive coping mechanism. Continue reading