Sherry, a coaching client, celebrated with me a recent success where she planned an activity for a group in a way that honored her introverted style. First she respected her need for reflection and planning by preparing in advance. She took the time to think through her ideas, did some research and wrote down her plan. Then she “chewed on it” for the next few days and came up with more ideas that she incorporated into her plan.

When she facilitated the activity she started with a meditation period. Instead of the typical 2-3 minutes of quiet time she had participants sit for 10 minutes. She also invited them to use a talking stick so that each person was able to share and know that s/he would not be interrupted. The result was magical.

Sherry described with delight how the group shared deeply and honestly. They were willing to show their vulnerabilities and listen to one another with respect. Sherry created this delicious experience by capitalizing on her strengths as an introvert. By starting the group in quiet contemplation she helped set the stage for a slower more mindful conversation. The talking stick replaced the fast paced back and forth banter that characterizes so much of conversation today – with space that honored the speaker and encouraged the listener to simply pay attention to what was being said versus plan out a counter response. This is such a refuge for introverts.

I am part of a meditation community that uses a version of the talking stick and it is my favorite place to engage. What a relief to have the floor and know I can speak until I feel done; that my story will not be high jacked by a witty comment or more dramatic story. To be truly listened to is so satisfying and healing.