Last night felt like a perfectly orchestrated episode of the Odd Couple, with me as the odd one out.  My daughter Nicki and I were hanging out coloring a winter scene together. For me the scene was nostalgic as the snow-covered house resembled the ones I grew up adoring while a child in Germany. In fact everything Christmas brings back my most vivid and favorite memories of cold crisp evenings wandering through Christmas markets in quaint German towns. We would eat our way through the markets tasting delicious crepes dripping with Nutella, crispy french fries with mayonnaise and piping hot pea soup lapped up by thick chunks of fresh made bread. I was relishing this nostalgic mood.

At 5:45 it was time to start dinner. I brought out the gorgeous greenhouse-grown tomatoes, some onion and garlic and whipped up my partner’s favorite meal because Colleen had a rough day stymied by technology and corporations. Nicki negotiated trading the CD of Kenny G’s Christmas favorites that was playing for Andrea Bocelli. We settled on him as I was craving mellow and she wanted something with words and more energetic like Angelina Ballerina. So Bocelli satisfied us both (don’t you love that my 5 year old digs Bocelli?!?!?!).

Colleen walked through the door upbeat and thrilled to see us. She and Nicki easily flowed into a boisterous interaction – talking, laughing, and teasing. The energy was noticeably rising by the second. Meanwhile the spaghetti was boiling approaching that perfect al dente moment, the French bread smeared with garlic and olive oil under the broiler was on the verge of going from perfect to crisp, Nicki was asking me a question, they were crowding in the kitchen to get things to set the table, I started to answer Nicki’s question when I smelled something burning.

The garlic bread! I ran to the oven. Opened the door and smoke poured into the room. All six pieces were black. I screamed. Slammed the door shut. Threw a fit (this included stomping my feet and swearing for about 10 seconds). I looked up and Colleen and Nicki were staring at me. I apologized. Telling them I was frustrated that I burned the bread. Then I asked them to not stare at me. Bocelli was still singing in the background, which to me now was like heavy metal music. Grating. On. My. Every. Last. Nerve. “Can someone please turn that music off!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

For a moment I considered letting the damn bread burn to bits in the oven yet after seeing the smoke sneak out the sides I knew the more prudent action was to snatch each piece from the rack and throw them with all my might. Which is exactly what I did. Then I looked around the kitchen – at the sauce in the pan, the noodles in the strainer and the half-made salad in bowls. My rational mind kicked in. “Jeanine there is no urgency here. Slow down. You’re moving too fast. (okay that jingle did not pop into my head at that moment – but how cool if it had! : ).  Dinner can wait.” I went into the living room, sat on the couch and took a few breaths.   My partner probably relieved that I was pulling it together explained to Nicki “Mommy is frustrated and just needs to take a break.”

Any of this sound familiar?  I spoke with a friend yesterday who confessed after spending time with her whole family one holiday that she locked herself in the bathroom to get a much needed and long overdue break.

The beauty is that these moments make great blog posts! : )

As one of my favorite singers Emily Sailers so beautifully put it “You have to learn to laugh at yourself.  Cuz you’d cry your eyes out if you didn’t. ” : )