I had a big shift this week working with a kinesiologist Kathy Carroll who is a master at mind-body healing akin to therapy where the focus is on transforming emotional baggage through the body.  In our work together we release long held stress and trauma on a cellular level.  This has allowed me to break life long patterns.  This week in our session we released an ancient feeling of being overlooked.   While the origins of this was a childhood loss, the sense of being overlooked persisted throughout my life.  From feeling overwhelmed at times by my big juicy family, to my career trajectory and the many ways my value wasn’t recognized, to having partners not understand and accept me in love relationships (for more on this last topic sign-up for the lunch-time call on love tomorrow at noon).

So what does this have to do with introversion?

Turns out through both book learning and informal surveying of other introverts – this is a common theme for us.  Let’s take a look at the data on leadership as a poignant example.  Introverted employees are much less likely to be promoted and therefore less likely to become leaders in their field.  Yet this has nothing to do with performance as introverts often outperform their extroverted counterparts.  In a culture that idealizes extroverted traits the implication is that introverted traits are “less than”.  And certainly that was the thinking behind now outdated models towards introversion, which urged us to act more extroverted.  When we grow up in this soup – of course we will feel overlooked.  How could we not?

Our quiet reflective tendency is seen as cold, aloof or uncaring.  Our desire for alone time is viewed with suspicion.  When we are sitting in the middle of an energetic event like a party, boisterous family conversation, or big networking event we may negatively judge our inner experience of “wanting to run like hell!” “Everyone else is enjoying this – why am I not?”  This discrepancy between the external circumstances and our inner experience is fertile ground for feeling overlooked.  If this resonates with you know you are not alone.

I will write more another time on how to transform the feeling of being overlooked. 

In the meantime tell us about your experience with this theme.