A few years ago I was working with an introverted coaching client who came to our first session with a list of a dozen goals and they all had an underlying flavor of “I’m not measuring up!”
Working together I was struck with his tendency to interpret the rapid changes within the organization at which he worked for 30 years as personal flaws. “I am not keeping up with the new technology.”
Over the sessions I helped him shift from a paradigm of personal failure to one of valuing his strengths. We also focused on seeing his behavior in context of a changing organization. The ah-ha! moment came when he heard himself saying to his boss “I am not broken. I don’t need fixing!”
After that he was able to propose a shift in his role and responsibilities at the organization in a way that honored his strengths.
He has been thriving since. And that was three years ago.
This theme of feeling broken is not uncommon among introverts. When you spend so much of your time in extrovert-oriented workplaces, organizations and cultures you feel like you are a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.
Yet an alternative – and one that I urge through this blog and my coaching – is to take your focus off of trying to fit in the round hole and instead enjoy being a square peg.
How good it feels .
Another client, we’ll call her Joan, came to me for financial coaching. She was spending a lot of money on fancy clothes, expensive jewelery and other fine items. Yet she was in debt and felt so stressed about money and her spending. Reading my blog and a couple of books she started exploring what all it meant to be an introvert. After a few sessions working together she had an epiphany. She realized her drive to buy expensive things and look good was a way to cover up this deep sense that something was wrong with her. As the only introvert in her family Joan was teased and maligned for being quiet and mild-mannered. She received similar messages at school and work.
Now reading and seeing herself reflected in the pages of these introvert empowerment pages she realized “I don’t need fixing – I am not broken!”
And guess what?
Her urge to shop. Gone.
Isn’t that powerful?
How about you? Do you have this square peg feeling? How can you embrace this part of yourself even more?
Roll around in it!
Relish it!